My Dream

My dream is to first get financially independent, get rich and fly to a better country!
But before that, I must have the qualities and abilities to support my dream.
That's why I'm giving the best in everything I do now, no matter what the outcomes are, be it good or bad.
I do not want to regret in my later years for not trying hard or hard enough now.
I'm trying to learn as much things I can , knowing my own responsibilities and trying the best out of everything I do.
It's really hard and sometimes I wanted to cry so much.
It's true when I say I wanted to cry badly.
It's like you're in the middle of the ocean gasping for oxygen but what is there for you around you?
Yes, nothing.
You but your pitiful self.
It's so empty everywhere, it's not fun at all.
It's like an aching void of loneliness.
But my conscience and unstoppable desire to succeed remind me perpetually that I have a dream ahead and I need to do a lot of things before I can achieve it and live the life I desired.
The process is painful but thinking that there's a slight possibility that my dream can be achieved, I walk down the path without any second thoughts.
Fun to me is crucial like it is to anyone else but like anybody else out there, the definition varies among them.
As long as I keep my head straight on my goals, have the fun I want, I'm contented.
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Now, why do I have such distinct dream?
Well, I believe most of you had encountered situation where you saw someone and you're like Wow, I wish I can be like him! Why do we have so less in common? He sparks so brightly I can see lights coming out of him! Damn, I wish I was born with his qualities! Damn Damn Damn.... so on and so forth.
Yes, I wanted to be this someone too.
Being rich and very knowledgeable is the of the way.
Get fashionable and a body that that people would die for is the another way.
For me, I want to be someone in the future who people jealous of.
I want the people look at me and say Shit! I'm envy of his life.
I want those who have despised me got mad of my success.
I want those who have did something bad on me to be really really sorry.
But deep in my heart, I understand the fact that to be at this social status, I need to make lots of efforts and sacrifices because I wasn't born handsome, I wasn't born with golds on my hands, I wasn't born exceptionally intelligent and I wasn't born a super athlete.
Therefore, my yearning to surpass others and be their envious somebody is indefinitely high.
Sigh...
Life is hard.
Whether I can achieve or not my dream, at least I won't be sorry for myself.
Being sorry for myself is never forgivable and I'm not going to let it happen to me again at least for what I want the most.
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As for my love life, I want it so much!
Who doesn't want to be loved?
Who doesn't want to have someone to notice your existence affectionately?
Who doesn't want to have someone's hands to hold when the world is coming to an end?
The rest I wouldn't know, I do want someone to be there for me.
I want to be connected to someone in that way.
It's so sweet to have that someone in your life and to brag about it proudly.
But...
It's not necessary, I can still live without it.
I don't have the will and time for it yet so I'll just live without it at the moment.
I don't push for love, I'm not desperate for it.
For now, I would prefer it to happen naturally or if it doesn't, it's alright.
I don't like going around and simply have relationships with chicks.
It's fun I admit but I'm not fancy of it and I'm not that type of person.
Why push for love when I do not have the mood for it and am not desperate for such thing?
See it as an valuable experience or an unnecessary waste of time.
I rather use the extra time I have now to improve myself in every aspects so I can be a better "me" in the future.
Self-growths place the highest in my list of priorities now.
Because to me, having a relationship with someone is not important yet.
So of course I'll value and emphasize it the least
And put my priorities on other things I value more.
Relationships?
I can have tonnes of them in the future. No worries =]
I'm just not that kind of person, but thanks for exposing me to the real world and telling me what fun is all about. =)