Friday, December 31, 2010

Dream Height

I wish I were 6ft. tall (183cm) or minimum 180cm.
I know I wasn't born as an eye candy so at least being tall looks hotter or sexier.
Truthfully, I am disappointed with my height.

I think I deserve that since I didn't put much efforts to improve it.

Still, I couldn't bear the embarrassment when tall girls look down on me.

Sigh...


Friday, December 24, 2010

I realised the truth about myself

I have been living as so many different persons in fantasy.
Upon realising other oddness of behaviours I have with careful "self-observation" for years, I had came to a conclusion that I'm having Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) or previously known as the Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD).
I did some tests online and the results are as expected but I am yet to confirm that I'm suffering from the disorder.

===================================================================
Retrieved 2010 from http://counsellingresource.com/quizzes/des/result2.html?76.4
Test ran on 2010 from http://counsellingresource.com/quizzes/des/index.html

Dissociative Experiences Scale Test Answers

Total score of: 76 (30 or Above, Higher Association With DID)

Your answers to this Dissociative Identity Disorder screening test fall into the range with a higher association with DID.

The Dissociative Experiences Scale (DES) was developed by Eve Bernstein Carlson, Ph.D. and Frank W. Putnam, M.D.

One of the test I did.

===================================================================

Friday, December 10, 2010

New journey in life

Goodbye the nerdy old me.
No more wasting time.
Play hard and study hard.
Dear Jiann Nan, please be confident in yourself.
Say no more to the past, welcome the new you with all your heart.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Sports Chosun, You Owned

Well, after reading the article, I laughed so hard. Hence, I can come up with a conclusion that the Sport Chosun’s writer on this article either has no common sense or he is pressured to write an article without putting much of his own thought on it.

First of all, why in the world would report on a well-known artist sexual harassed by a perverted old man damages the image of the particular artist? Allkpop reports on the news because they think what the old guy did is wrong and the girl deserves a justice and that the public should know the news and stand up for the girl. Isn’t it obvious that Allkpop is reporting on the news to protect the girl?

Second of all, how has the report even damage the national image of Korea. This has nothing to do with the national image of Korea. The only thing that a wise person can relate the whole incident to damaging the national image of Korea is that the person who is accused of the malicious act is a Korean. Otherwise, how would the news relate to the national image of Korea? The bad news is none of the readers can be certain of the man’s nationality except for himself.

Third of all, who are SM and Sports Chosun to say what is right is right and what is true is the truth? Basically, are they trying to tell everyone in the world that what SM and Sports Chosun said must be the truth and everything Allkpop had reported is wrong? Who gave them the authority to defame Allkpop and said what was reported is wrong and what were reported by them is real. Nobody knows what the truth is except for the guy who is accused for the sexual harassment. How can they blame Allkpop for reporting made-up news and accuse Allkpop for trying to spread “anti-Korea” mindset to others.

Fourth of all, would not this news be more harmful to the man who is accused for doing such immoral acts rather than to the image of Jessica or Korea if he did not perform the act? However, the writer of the article from Sports Chosun has never mentioned anything about this man. Instead, the article emphasized so much on the irrelevant excuses such as damaging Jessica’s image and the national image of Korea. Isn’t it easier to identify and interview the accused if they want to convince the whole world that Jessica wasn’t sexual harassed by the man? It sounds a hundred times more convincing to me as a reader that way. Why did not they do a thorough research on it and then publish to the public instead of simply believing what they were told?

Readers are wise enough to know what’s true and what’s not and not for any of the media to decide for what we should believe in and what we are believing is wrong.

======================================================

This was what I wrote for Allkpop after reading a ridiculous news article from Sports Chosun that accuse Allkpop in damaging Jessica's reputation and national image of Korea and trying to spread the "Anti-Korea" mindset to the whole world. Damn! I am so angry about this!!

Friday, December 3, 2010

--------less


Life feels so meaningless.
It's like performing on the stage with no audiences down there to appreciate you...

The future is intangible and so far ahead...
What does the current really mean to us?

Saturday, November 6, 2010

More worries

Dad's eyes are getting worse; Mum's getting old and less energetic.
How long more can they support the family?!

Aside from worrying their health, I have to work and learn harder.

Hopefully it's just about the right time when I step into the working society and give support to the family.

Sigh...

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Results Day


Cautiously, I entered my user ID and password into the system to check my results on Thursday.
My breathing stopped seconds before I clicked on the Achievement link.
Pop! My name, the first thing that came to my sight.
Then... A A.....B+.
For a second, I thought I got some Bs and Cs and I was like, God, I'm so screwed.
Then I looked carefully again on the alphabets on the very right side of the table.
There was this B+ but along with the other As.Bulleted List
Yes, the others were As.
My lungs were back right after that.
What a relieved, I sighed, probably still couldn't be absolutely clear of what was happening.
4.0 for the rest and a B+ for a subject I was so sure I could have got an A for it.
I sighed again.
Maybe I was just too greedy or I never did appreciate what was in front of me.
Then for another moment, I thought, it was so tiring to do the best for everything I do.
===================================================================

I have another 4years to complete my course or another 8 semesters to work my ass out excluding my 6 months internship.
This is just the beginning and I'm already feeling tired.
I'm always doing the best in everything I do.
The ending is somehow rewarding sometimes but the process is really painful.
I have to shape and discipline my mind so stiff to do best for everything I do.
Yes, I hate disciplines.
I used to be such a cheerful person that thinks nothing but only fun and joy.
However, that was when I haven't realized the ugly truth behind the value of money in this pathetic world.
I wonder what kind of person would I become when money is not of a concern to me anymore somewhere in the future.
Perhaps Junior Jiann Nan once more? Probably.

Yup, that's me with grandma'.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Sick


(>.<)
Coughing non-stop.
I need someone to volunteer themselves to scratch my throat.
Anyone?! Lolz...
@.@ The medicines make me dizzy all the time.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Jealousy and Mocking


I was raised in a situation where
if you want something, you have to work really hard to get it yourself.
Looking at the people around getting what they wished for with much lesser efforts,
I couldn't restrain the arousal of jealousy spreading out of nowhere.
No matter how overwhelmed am I by jealousy, I had to rope myself down.
Keeping that jealousy somewhere furthest from my face and closest to my heart.
With conscience, my mind survived and remained intact.
Knowing that jealousy would not bring me anywhere but only adequate efforts would.

====================================================================

Should I say that people around like to take me for granted or do they think it is okay to hurt someone's heart like mine because they think I'll be alright with that and that they're so much better?
I'm tired of the mocking, 19years of living with 8/10 of the time living under those unbearable and disrespectful ridicules.
Neither of them tries to understand.
Immature and ignorant beings,
I hate you all to the bottom of the ocean when you say those things without taking into consideration a person's feeling.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Music-Souled Child

Musics and songs feed my soul so much they make my heart warm when darkness is there to engulf my lonely soul.


Sunday, October 10, 2010

I'm so upset I think I should just die

It's not the first time.
I'm the victim so I confronted the problem and after that I became the culprit/ the ****ing bad guy? I feel so down and hurt everytime I'm trying to solve an issue with him.

He made me like a fool. I'm trying to let him know my feelings and that guy made me like an idiot that I have to say sorry so many times to him for trying to do that everytime when we have arguements.

That ****er made me believe I'm always the wrong & bad guy everytime without failed. Sometimes, I really feel like I'm so useless in this world that I should end me life. That f-er made my soul cry so much.

====================================================================

How much I wish I have someone to listen to my problems and have a hug with.
Things are really too hard for me...for the past so many years and on-going now
Maybe I should really just end my life.
*My soul really need some comforts*

F____ YOU

F*** you, asshole.
You did something and pissed somebody off and that somebody f*** you on that and what? You f*** that person back? Because his tone made you uncomfortable?
F*** you.
F*** YOU, you always lock the door of the washroom, causes inconvenience and discomforts to me and YOU F*** YOURSELF SAYING YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING F*** WRONG AND F*** ME FOR SCREWING YOU ON THAT ISSUE?! JUST BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU'RE BEING CARELESS AND THERE'S NOTHING F*** YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT?

===================================================================

F*** YOU.
What the f***. You did something that pisses someone off and YOU F***ING LOUD SAID YOU DIDN'T ANYTHING F*** WRONG BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING CARELESS?
How can you push everything to being careless and said you couldn't do anything f*** with it.
I told you try not to do it again because I'm already f***ed off by you AND WHAT? YOU F*** ME FOR SAYING THAT TO YOU?
HOW CAN A PERSON F*** SOMEONE WITHOUT A SLIGHT ANGRY TONE?
I'm f***ing you because you caused inconvenience to me, AND YOU F*** ME BACK for that, saying you did nothing wrong?
YOU MADE SOMEONE UNEASE AND THAT PERSON DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE ANGRY AND RAISE EVEN A SLIGHT ANGRY TONE AT YOU?
F*** YOURSELF!

===================================================================

F*** YOU, ASSHOLE ON THE FACE.
OKAY, When I refer to this issue, you'll always say SORRY and I'm thankful. BUT SAYING SORRY AND DOING AGAIN is another f***ing thing.
I made a slight angry tone to tell you can you try not to do it again and you F*** me for that?
I wanted you remembered not to do it again so I told you that.
And what now? I got f***ed back for that?
F***uck you!
The most interesting thing is when you kept repeating that you did NOTHING F*** WRONG and was just being careless and you couldn't anything about it WITH YOUR F***ING FINGER POINTING AT ME AND F***ING LOUD AND ANGRY TONE?
YOU F*** ME FOR F***ING YOU BECAUSE YOU CAUSES DISCOMFORTS TO ME?!
F***! Doing something carelessly didn't mean you did nothing F*** WRONG, instead it means you did a mistake that it's still could be forgiven.
NOT THAT YOU DID NOTHING WRONG!
F*** YOU, asshole!
HOW CAN YOU PUSH EVERY FUCKING MISTAKE TO BEING CARELESS!
DID NOTHING WRONG? F*** YOU, PIECE OF SHIT!

===================================================================

People f***ed you for doing something wrong, you don't reflect and try understand people's feeling for doing that and f*** people back?
You never try to think in the shoes of others, especially me or maybe only me.
Why did people f*** you?
It's because you pissed them off!
And you f
***ed them for being too sensitive and that you had no wrongs?
Every time I f***ed you on an issue when you caused inconvenience and discomforts, I GOT SHIITY F***ED BACK BY YOU?
People f***ed you because you did something wrong, AND WHAT?
You pissed someone off and that person do not have the right to f
*** you about that?!
AND THE BEST is YOU F
***ED THEM BACK?

===================================================================

F*** YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You think I wanna' argue with you so much?
I have nothing F*** to do?
I don't even wanna' know anything about you.
Why would somebody f*** you for nothing?
Nothing better to do than wasting this sort of time?
People won't just F*** you for nothing.
There must be a reason behind for everything a person do.
What the F***!
You did something, people trying to make you realise that and...
YOU F***ING DON'T REFLECT ON YOURSELF AND F*** PEOPLE FOR SAYING THAT OR BEHAVING LIKE THAT TO YOU?
I F*** YOU FOR CAUSING DISCOMFORTS AND INCONVENIENCE TO ME AND IN TURN YOU MADE ME LIKE A FOOL SO GUILTY LIKE I DID F***ING WRONG STUFF TO YOU.
YES, THAT F
***ING WRONG STUFF IS TRYING TO MAKE YOU REALISE YOU DID SOMETHING THAT CAUSED INCONVENIENCE AND DISCOMFORTS TO ME.
I DON'T EVEN DESERVE THE RIGHT TO DO A SIMPLE THING AS THAT?
AND I GOT F
***ED BACK DOUBLE OR TRIPLE THE INTENSITY?

TO: Mr. T

Friday, October 8, 2010

Dear friend



Dear friend,
Allow time to wash away all the sorrows in your heart

Allow steel chains to wrap tight around the unwanted memories

Allow undertakers to bury that unhappy and loathing feeling to the core of the earth

Allow light to once again shine upon you

Allow yourself to immerse in the sea of peace and love once more

Stand up shall you gradually

=)

===================================================================
O~OGosh, I've never thought KY is this heavy, until now. (>.<)

Ever-Changing Environment



Hello strangers.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Not always about yourself anymore

Life that we are having now is not everything about us anymore.
As many will be watching us in everything we do.
It's not about what you want to do and being yourself anymore.
Because your presence links to the presences of other human beings,
therefore, in every action you take, there will be feedback and response.
Someone who thinks they lead a good life may not be as the same in the eyes of the others.

People, me and my life

Really, there are all kinds of people in this world.
So many different kinds of thinking and perception.
And I always got criticized in everything I do despite I've been trying very hard to become a better myself.
Got really tired of living but giving up on my life also shows that I've lost to my life and everyone.

No, not after I've been living 19 years under the people's contempt.
No matter how many times people's words have stabbed me from every angle so hard into my heart, I'll have to stand up and force myself to walk down the road.
That's the only way for me to stay alive as I'm not ready to let go of the sweets of this world yet.
No matter how much I wish I could stab these people back with a larger, sharper and deadlier knife.In the end, I gave up.
I gave up every time before the knife pierced through the lungs and hearts of the people.
Thinking about the consequences and unnecessity of the action of hurting someone I've never thought of hurting of.Yes, I cowardly gave up the knife in my hand.
Yes, I'm a coward.
Even if I know how much satisfaction and pride I could earned back with just another one more step.

Sigh... I'm a freaking coward compared to the people around me.
My objective of living is not to harm people, instead I want some recognitions from the people around, at least my friends and form warm relationships with everyone.
I don't want to be hated but I know I already am.
Sigh...
No matter how dark and lonely the present and future may seems.

I'll walk down the path even if it means that arrows from everywhere will form shafts through my body.
I'll walk...

Monday, October 4, 2010

San - E


This new singer of JYP is awesome!
xD
One of the best korean rapper out there.
Nice debut anyway! San E!

San E - Everybody's Ready?

Saturday, October 2, 2010

MixPod Malfunction


A super bad news for myself.
My Ipod slim couldn't load smoothly in firefox browser.
I have to get another big and clumsy player to play my preferred songs in this blog.
Sigh...

Friday, October 1, 2010

BoA - copy and paste


BoA is coming back with her new song, Copy and Paste!
Another amazing song.

Noona, how much I wish life is as easy as copy and paste.
I love you so much.
T.T
I wish you could teach me how to get through a tough life.
I've never seen a girl at her fourteen years ago can be as tough as you.

-Lunar-realm-

My Dream


My dream is to first get financially independent, get rich and fly to a better country!
But before that, I must have the qualities and abilities to support my dream.
That's why I'm giving the best in everything I do now, no matter what the outcomes are, be it good or bad.
I do not want to regret in my later years for not trying hard or hard enough now.
I'm trying to learn as much things I can , knowing my own responsibilities and trying the best out of everything I do.
It's really hard and sometimes I wanted to cry so much.
It's true when I say I wanted to cry badly.
It's like you're in the middle of the ocean gasping for oxygen but what is there for you around you?
Yes, nothing.
You but your pitiful self.
It's so empty everywhere, it's not fun at all.
It's like an aching void of loneliness.
But my conscience and unstoppable desire to succeed remind me perpetually that I have a dream ahead and I need to do a lot of things before I can achieve it and live the life I desired.
The process is painful but thinking that there's a slight possibility that my dream can be achieved, I walk down the path without any second thoughts.
Fun to me is crucial like it is to anyone else but like anybody else out there, the definition varies among them.
As long as I keep my head straight on my goals, have the fun I want, I'm contented.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, why do I have such distinct dream?
Well, I believe most of you had encountered situation where you saw someone and you're like Wow, I wish I can be like him! Why do we have so less in common? He sparks so brightly I can see lights coming out of him! Damn, I wish I was born with his qualities! Damn Damn Damn.... so on and so forth.
Yes, I wanted to be this someone too.
Being rich and very knowledgeable is the of the way.
Get fashionable and a body that that people would die for is the another way.
For me, I want to be someone in the future who people jealous of.
I want the people look at me and say Shit! I'm envy of his life.
I want those who have despised me got mad of my success.
I want those who have did something bad on me to be really really sorry.
But deep in my heart, I understand the fact that to be at this social status, I need to make lots of efforts and sacrifices because I wasn't born handsome, I wasn't born with golds on my hands, I wasn't born exceptionally intelligent and I wasn't born a super athlete.
Therefore, my yearning to surpass others and be their envious somebody is indefinitely high.
Sigh...
Life is hard.
Whether I can achieve or not my dream, at least I won't be sorry for myself.
Being sorry for myself is never forgivable and I'm not going to let it happen to me again at least for what I want the most.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As for my love life, I want it so much!
Who doesn't want to be loved?
Who doesn't want to have someone to notice your existence affectionately?
Who doesn't want to have someone's hands to hold when the world is coming to an end?
The rest I wouldn't know, I do want someone to be there for me.
I want to be connected to someone in that way.
It's so sweet to have that someone in your life and to brag about it proudly.
But...
It's not necessary, I can still live without it.

I don't have the will and time for it yet so I'll just live without it at the moment.
I don't push for love, I'm not desperate for it.
For now, I would prefer it to happen naturally or if it doesn't, it's alright.
I don't like going around and simply have relationships with chicks.
It's fun I admit but I'm not fancy of it and I'm not that type of person.
Why push for love when I do not have the mood for it and am not desperate for such thing?
See it as an valuable experience or an unnecessary waste of time.
I rather use the extra time I have now to improve myself in every aspects so I can be a better "me" in the future.
Self-growths place the highest in my list of priorities now.
Because to me, having a relationship with someone is not important yet.
So of course I'll value and emphasize it the least
And put my priorities on other things I value more.
Relationships?
I can have tonnes of them in the future. No worries =]
I'm just not that kind of person, but thanks for exposing me to the real world and telling me what fun is all about. =)

Back!

It's finally over!! The hellish two weeks.
Sigh... A really long 2 weeks*
I should be jumping around and shouting like a monkey now!
Yea... should be!
But instead of that, I felt more relieved than happy.
I can't feel any bit of happiness my friends are having.
Maybe I'm too tired... mentally after struggling to expand my memory capacity for the past two weeks.

Tired and not happy =|


Friday, September 17, 2010

Gilme, Whee Sung and Gavy NJ

Another 3 fantastic songs to recommend =D

1st song: Gilme feat. Lee Hyun - I'm sorry I love you.
*Gilme debuted July last year(2009). [She's beautiful and her rapping is just too amazing. =)]




2nd song: Whee Sung - I thought to marry
(This song is really awesome and he's truly talented R&B singer.)



3rd song: Gavy NJ (I don't know who they are but this song is good!)



;D

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Martial Arts

I was sitting down one day and some thoughts glided through my mind.
What happens if I failed to protect the my girlfriend, my family member or my friend one day?
There's ain't no use for having muscles but can't fight in return to protect someone.
What if I CAN'T EVEN PROTECT MYSELF? LOL! xD
I think there is where martial arts come in.
I've always wanted to learn some "kung fu" for self-defense especially Tai Chi and Wing Chun.
Haha. With these, I can at least protect myself or someone who is important to me.
Too bad, I'm too busy with my current life, having too much to take care of.
Maybe in the future when I'm less busy, I'll take up some lessons. =P
(Less busy? Very unlikely to happen. xD)

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

G.O (MBLAQ) and NASSUN - O-IWI-O

MBLAQ is never my favourite Kpop boy group because I don't think they can sing very well.
But of last Friday, I realised there is actually someone in MBLAQ who can really sing.
I have never in my thoughts imagined that this guy, G.O (oldest member in MBLAQ) can sing that well.

This song has a strong R&B feeling and it's really nice.
(Note* Some males in youtube commented that the song's gay. Haha! It's pretty hilarious to see that but I seriously don't the songs gay. =D)
**The guy in blonde is Nassun while the one in black is G.O.


Dazzling and sexy dancing machine, Kim Sori

She awes me in this MV!
Superbly beautiful and good in dancing too.
She debuted last year (2009) at the age of 25.
Although she's still a rookie but she has so much of potential.
She'll have a great future ahead.
The song is addictive too.
Enjoy.

Kim Sori's 3rd digital single: Black Sun
Kim Sori - You're not my style

JQT fondness

This song sticks on my brain like a leech!
JQT - No need to know
They may not be as pretty and sexy as Rainbow but they can sing really well.
Fighting! JQT!



For your info, they were supposed to be a large girl group, like Super Junior but it didn’t really work out. They didn’t succeed and disbanded. Now 3 of those 13 girls are coming back as JQT with one other member! Their names are Park Min Jung, Lee Ji Eun, Park Ga Jin, and the one who made the group through an audition, Joo Min Sun. Joo Min Sun was picked out of 200 people for this group!

What in the world does JQT mean? Well the J is the letter that is in all four girls’ names, the Q and T stand for QUALITY and QUARTET.

They debuted early October last year (2009)

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Member's profile

Park Min Jung: She is the group’s leader and has the position of main vocals. Because of her cute looks and calm voice, she had the largest fanbase out of the 4 members even before they were known as JQT (the members were in a 13 member girl group called i-13, which eventually got disbanded). She currently goes to Suwon University and is taking a theatre course. Because she is the leader, she also has leadership roles, as she takes care of the other members the most. Her nickname is “Sleepyhead” because she likes to take lots of naps.

Joo Min Sun: She has the position of vocals in the group. Her dream was to become an actor (graduated with a major in broadcast media) but due to a chance, she auditioned along with her friend and had beaten through 200 people. Something that makes people fall in love with her is her sexy looks and charming voice.

Lee Ji Eun: Since elementary school, she already had experience with singing and broadcasts. When Fin.K.L was still popular, Lee Ji Eun had been in a group that sings the chorus and had the opportunity to sing Lee Hyori’s part. That was when Lee Hyori became her role model, which made her want to have a confident and sexy style.

Park Ga Jin: Just like with f(x)’s Amber, she have had many interest from netizens because of her slightly boyish looks. She was a trainee in DSP Entertainment (SS501, Kara) before she was picked in a group. This girl has intelligence as a charm as well. When her training is over, she goes back to her dorm and always reads. She stated that she wants to widen up her acting career while being in JQT. Currently, she is studying in Hanseo University and is in her first year.

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Credits: allkpop

Seung Yeon Has a Twitter Account NOW



♥♥♥♥♥Oh My Goddess ♥♥♥♥♥
Seung Yeon has finally joined the twitter world.
https://twitter.com/fateflysy
Unfortunately, she hasn't tweeted anything yet,
perhaps she's still exploring the twitter world.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Friday, September 10, 2010

Finally I told him

Chapter 1.
Foo... damn a lot to express today.
I was watching a music program with T before
T started commenting one of the girl groups "again" with "his unique style of
criticism".
T gave his unique style of criticisms without failed every time when we got to watch music program together.
A few months ago, when T started this, I was very uncomfortable with it.
Gradually, it has become such an annoyance I couldn't bear it anymore.
Therefore, today, finally, with courage, I told him about my feelings.
I told him I hate the way he comments on female artists.
PS* (T's style of commenting on female artists):
1) WuO! They're so attractive and fantastic but strange,
why didn't my thing' stand up?
2) (Girls with bigger boobs) Wuo, hey, did you see that?
Phi wit... Woah...Can't you see that?
(making all sorts of naughty laughs)
3) (Rainbow-A) People are not listening to the song,
Wow... (naughty laughs again) I'm not listening to the song well...
Look at them...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 2.
To my tremendous surprise, I got completely screwed back.
T's reply:" What now? So now you mean I can't comment anything about kpop? Kpop's yours?! You think you have great due of authority to the extend that you can restrict my freedom to comment on Kpop? So means now I can't comment on Kpop at all! Okay, you have the greatest power! Only you can comment anything on kpop. Only you can watch kpop! Only you can listen to kpop!"
Then I told him that I wasn't referring to the whole kpop. I told him I was only referring to the way he comments on female artists and that I'm restricting his freedom to comment. Next, I told him that he's free to make any comments on kpop and that I was really sorry if I've offended him, I was just trying to let him know that I hate the way he comments on female artists.
T's reply:" What? So now only you can comment on female artists? So basically you're trying to tell me I can't say anything about it right?! Ya, the kpop is yours! I have my freedom to say or comment thing I want and it's none of your business! Why are you fucking me now? I have the right to say anything I want! You don't like it or hate it, that's your problem. You can't stop me from doing anything I want! You're always like that! I don't know what the hell you're thinking! Why are you being so sensitive?!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter3.
It's being sensitive a wrong thing? I was just telling him that I hate his disrepectful way of criticism.
Then I told him the reasons why I hate the way he comments on female artists.
Reasons (from my point of view I think his way of criticism):
1) disrespects females (mainly female artists) [I hate this the most]
2) causes me to think that I'm not focusing on the musics or the performance,
rather I'm focusing on what he's focusing
3) did not appreciate the hard works of the artists trying so hard to produce good musics and performances

Then, I told him :" Yes I admit I'm sensitive. But can you stop someone from being sensitive?! And this is not about a person's sensitivity. I was just trying to let you know I hate the way you comment on female artists. Of course, you have the right to ignore it and do whatever you want!"

T's reply:" Okay, from now on, I'm not going to comment anything about female artists anymore. I'm not going to...!"

Me:" No, this is not what I mean. You have the freedom to comment anything you like about any artists. Just that I'm trying to tell you I hate the way you comment on female artists, only that and nothing else. The way you comment on female artists."

T's reply:" I don't know, from now on, I won't comment anything about the female artists. I don't know. I don't know."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
End of Chapters.


I found one of his actions annoying so I confronted him and now I felt so guilty like the whole thing was actually set up by me trying to find some excuse to screw him.
I should be happy after confronting him but instead I really need someone to comfort me now.
I have lost my way in this world, I don't know what's ethics anymore, I don't know the world anymore. After living in this world for nineteen years and now I realised I don't actually know what's right or wrong.
I can hardly differentiate the two. Now I doubt whatever I think "it should be done" isn't the right decision for me to initiate or promote.
Is there anyone out there who can give me some comforts.
I'm feeling darker and darker about this world.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

No more "abs" for the viewers Confirmed

It's confirmed.
Rainbow's ab dance will be banned from public broadcast.
Lolz... I just mentioned my thoughts about this days ago
and now there's an official news about it.
Rainbow's abs dance has received warnings from various
broadcasting companies due to its excessive sexuality nature
.
Too bad. Their abs are amazing! xD
(PS* Do not think strange of me)